i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize