I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
