bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
