was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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