I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
