i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
