All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
