if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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