i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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