there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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