ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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