the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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