didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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