nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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