He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
