in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
