just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
