Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it was like his penis was on wheels.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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