im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
