I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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