it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
