Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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