she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
