i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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