i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
