but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dignity is for republicans.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
