It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize