I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
