And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Are my feet made of real feet?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize