I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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