I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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