You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
