I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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