Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize