You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hippo gnu deer
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
