just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
