Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
