So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
