Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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