She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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