i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize