Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
