capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
