I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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