I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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