so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
