We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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