Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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