I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
