New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
