Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
