So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dear god my vagina.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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