My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
