Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
