Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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