There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Too much gin, very little bucket
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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