she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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