one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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