just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
