i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
