Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You took a bar mat shot.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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