I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
