I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
