if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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